I'm moving...

Bye x.

Dorset Biscuits...

Mr C bought some biscuits back from his latest Highcliffe sojourn - They're quite lovely, Dorset produce with a big picture of Corfe Castle on the front (I awarded myself an extra one for geographical knowledge) Which reminds me of my latest coincidence...

Talking to N on Friday night I told her about how I used to spend my childhood holidays in Dorset...

'So did I', she said, 'Whereabouts..?' I asked. 

'Swanage', she said, 'Caravan..?' I asked, sensing something odd

'Yes', she said, 'Which site..?' I asked, weirdly excited that this purely cosmic alignment was of some importance. Which it isn't...

'Ullwell Cottage' she said , 'Oh, funny... me too!' I said...

Her parents still go down there.

Submarine

We watched Richard Ayoade's Submarine last night...

It is a beautiful film, funny, knowing with crystal clear dialog that delights from the start and never lets up. It's a story of growing up/coming of age where the children are the complex important characters and the adults are the two dimensional cardboard cutouts that one sees adults as when we are children...

The mysterious N is on the train winding its way to London now and I am, for the time being left, with memories... good ones, silly ones, poignant ones.

Norman the Wheel's cat, the winning smiles and the poor fox I ran over :(

rip Dan & Marco.
  

Fram...

A lovely but short day. Talking up to 6 then getting up for the red button... Impressive pasta and general level of domestic ability have gone down well. Drinking wine and listening to suede. #fun #nice #sat

Je suis fatigay...

After all the words I used up last night and this morning I think I'm allowed a day off blogging!

We are going to the big city tonight for fun and laughs - Can't wait :-)

Adding n to x...

Just another day of getting up having a shower feeding the bloody cat feeding next doors fish driving to work doing work having lunch etc. etc.

Ensconced up here, above the calm north sea I squint and pretend I can see Holland and its 57 cricket pitches (amongst other things) - I can't though. I can see the speck that is Sealand. There are no cricket pitches there. In fact there is not much there at all - Just some rust and ladders and some old broadcasting equipment.

I should imagine that Sealand flouts almost all office clichés... There would be plenty of dull moments and I think being mad is not one of the prerequisites for a job there - quite the opposite. you wouldn't want somebody flipping their wig out there on a metal island in the sea either - good idea for a film though - bit Dead Calm meets The Shining. Cheap budget though...

How much time has that filled up?

Frivolity...

Me+cat+diehard+balalaika = WINNING.

x

Clean Clean Clean...

I have a beautiful new office with a panoramic view of the North Sea - ~Somebody fucked up on the lighting though and we all have Bee and Poo standard lamps that @ this time of night cast a romantic glow over the office - it is not very business like, in fact it looks rather like a tart's boudoir...

Having said that, I don't think I have ever been in any kind of boudoir in my life, let alone a tart's one... mind you, who, apart from a tart would have a boudoir? a quick google later and I see that apparently a set of photos in boudoir style are becoming quite fashionable for the bride to be on her wedding day... I wonder if they have to borrow it off a tart though?

Anyway, I digest, something will have to be done about the lights... with this level romantic lighting I can see trouble ahead - it would be fun to speculate who in the office would succomb, but in reality there is no one, so I wont.

Lagos flight booked - that should be exciting!

Anyway, must go home and clean up - you just never know who's going to turn up do you? ;-)

Date highlights...

Apart from the obvious the highlight was how the ice was broken... I turned up dead on time and was complemented on doing so... But I added that getting to soho had been no mean feat considering the engineering works and coaches and tubes I'd had to endure, so much so in fact that I hadn't even managed to find out how Colchester had got on...
N replied ' I kept an eye out for you... they drew two two, you went two up but Okunghue got sent off after 30 mins then it was backs to the wall but eventually Rochdale got it back level', top date!
Funniest moment was saying goodbye @ Charing Cross, we had a nice 'cinematic embrace' with confirmations that this would happen again, we parted and I headed down a short flight of steps... The underground entrance was shut! The trouble was I didn't want to head straight back up and bump into N again and ruin the quite lovely goodbye, so I had to stand around down there for a bit and then sneak back up, hoping I was alone... Luckily I was!
Other funny moment, being in an incredibly sophisticated soho gay bar and seeing everybody in the place glued to the massive screens showing the X factor...

Sonic Death!

fb pm from pm...

So now the Gordon-Moore's have split up :-(

No more Sonic Youth? Does that really matter? After 30 years of making music there's probably enough out there to keep us entertained and new stuff wasn't hitting the highs of the past if I'm honest.

Anyway, I will miss them dearly, and will remember how they got me through my later teenage years with Sister  and Daydream Nation and how I made DAMN sure the last song I listened to before the last two transplants was a Youth song. It was off sister both times. Dancing to 'Superstar' all those years ago. Going through an entire Reading festival to watch them on the last night...

Oh well....

London... For N x

Old man, young man
Preachers saying amen
Taking up collection
Playing on a bass drum
How come the city it never sleeps at night?

Black cars, blue cars
Payment overdue cars
Cops with indigestion
Millionaires and some bums
How come the city it never sleeps at night
How come the city it never sleeps at night

Short girls, tall girls
Happy that they're all girls
Walking with some nice man
Holding hands and then some
How come the city it never sleeps at night

Long night, short night
Big hellos and goodbyes
Dreams of conversation
Not a single ho-hum
How come the city it never sleeps at night

It never sleeps at night

MES/The Fall

mid life crisis

I bought a hoodie...


maar het heeft geen motieven of schriftelijk mee wanneer het - het hetzelfde is rijk de resterende :-)

Things you may not know...

• Holland has 57 cricket pitches

• The people of Groeningen have an annual radisch festival where they have prizes for different types and classifications of them, the overall winner becomes known as 'de radijs vorst'.

• It is illegal to mow your lawn on Christmas day in Utrecht.

• Going 'Dutch' has nothing to do with Holland.

• Holland was the last place in Europe to broadcast B+W television

• Connie Van Den Bos, who sang 'ring ding pling pling plong' at the 1965 Eurovision song contest in Naples almost didn't make it to the show as her wooden leg was deemed a fire risk at the studio.

• Dutch man Rodbert van den Arles holds the world record for the number of pickled herrings eaten in 30 minutes - the number is staggering.

• Pass the dutchie has nothing to do with Holland.

• The Dutch town of Breda means backward Cheese.

• Fossilized pasta shapes were discovered during the excavations of the Zuider Zee in the 1950's

• The Dutch have never won 'Miss World' despite having some well fit girls.

• The girl that last cut my hair was Dutch, she is doing it again tomorrow.

• This is Jools Holland...

Lazy Cat #2

Bloody cat... I wash the sofa and she sits on the back and makes it lumpy, I forget to take the clean towels upstairs and she's on them all day - bah hurrumph grrr!

Meanwhile Hilary Dragon looks like Louis XIV.

Bit knackered, but  #OccupyPortugal in Jan is finalised so something to look forward to there.

I had to listen to Kiss or something 'FM' at work today - man that was painful... Now, I'm looking forward to the move - I'll miss Z etc. but I'm too old for all that shizz now - come to think of it, I've never been the right age for that.

Breakfast of champions...

nom nom nom...

You Asked!
x

Writer's block...

There's an episode of spaced where Brian, the artist is in the midst of despair and painting with enthusiasm and flourishes and being really creative, he gets a phone call from Twist; she agrees to go on a date with him and all of a sudden the creative juices start to dry up. Enter Marsha the landlady, she listens to Brian's problems and quickly surmises the root of his dilemma and delivers her diagnosis thus...

'You know you're problem Brian..? you're 'appy'

I feel a bit like that - which is cool...

BUT.....

I don't want to be miserable, of course I don't! But today I feel good, thing is though there's a small glimmer on the horizon, which could be great or it could be scheisse or anything in between.

Whatever it is should be a nice cherry on the top of my mood, I'm just worried that it's actually the Icing and half the cake too? I hope not and I don't think so either - but I do like to worry...

Kill em, Kill em all!!!

Social Media...

I feel all refreshed and lighter now...

Dumped half my facebook friends :-)

What is the point of being friends with people that never add anything or comment or disregard you when you bump into them?

Twitter too will remain disused in terms of updates - I'm a lot to say to a few people kinda person - No judgements but twitter is quite the reverse.

If people want to know what's going on with me they can read this.

fbook, twitter, g+ - It's like everybody standing on boxes and shouting @ each other.

Good work...

I've not been terribly busy today but a few good things...

• The kitchen and the bedroom are now tidy and clean
• Exciting GP that ended with a Button win.
• Mum had the all clear on her annual kidney check up - It's a shame we don't get born with three really!
• Arranged to go to an away game in London next Saturday :-)

Lazy Cat...

You just sit there,
discarding your hair...

If anybody wants to buy me a Christmas present...

http://amzn.to/nGdNR2

Up the U's

2-2 Should have been a U's win - Hurrumph.

Had an almost totally bloke day with M, Up early for the Rugby international, full english at half time. To cure the disappointing rugby result we took a trip down to the market and around the castle and shared an Almond Croissant with a cup of tea. Then on to ColU where I caught up with loads of mates and a quick chat and hug with kc. We should have left victorious but the game was entertaining and those 2 points aren't going to mean anything come t'end of the season. Dropped M off and we had Chicken salad and beer.

I don't know whether I'm starting to go downhill or all the work/entertaining I've done this week has just left me exhausted, but I am just that. A day of cleaning awaits tomorrow, the house is half OK but the neglect of September is still apparent in places - As Curtis Mayfield once extolled though: keep on keeping on!

In other news the Tonbridge Angels got a last minute winner against Hampton and Richmond - proof positive that Jesus loves N more than me.

Busy Day...

Loads of people, loads of work...

Quitting early for drinks and fun with friends :-)

Bright day, dark people.

A day of not very much...

Today has been a difficult day to write about...

Not much has happened really... Some nice emails from friends and to friends to report :-)

Work's been different today, everybody is smart as there was a big meeting, which I'd forgotten about. Z rather cheekily said that as I had no food stains on me, I was in smart mode - le vache qui rit?


Small dilemma, do you point out to the woman in the office that her skirt has ridden up and the tops of her stockings are showing? I told her (discretely!) on the grounds I would point out to a bloke if he had any 'wardrobe issues' - an embarrassed thank you was the result.

Everyone in the meeting was super complimentary about my skillz and it was nice to hear them all say it's good to have an IT person that says 'yes' to most things - I'm sure it was not much different before - they are just a kindly bunch... Spaniards, Russians, Irish and English - we were in the Orwell hotel, which if you're a literary whizz you'll say to yourself - ah, the international brigade from Homage To Catalunya!.

We're just off for a mammoth work/pub sesh - then home to clean through for my w/e house guest :-)

On reflection perhaps the title of this post isn't really appropriate?

Check out the young fat boy...

untitled #

Z's back @ work today...

Was expecting to see her on Monday, but whilst I was away her Grandma died, so she had to disappear home for a few days. But she was back today looking tired and a bit down.

The thing I like most about her is her laughing - I make her laugh and that makes me feel good, a double whammy of happiness. She's a lovely girl and talking to her is nice  and simple, although she does challenge my thoughts - quite like a counselor, just as she is training to be.

We talked about funerals and letting go and the implied selfishness of grief, People are in pain and they are released from that pain through their mortality and yet we still wish them alive - Does it matter that we are wishing they suffer a little bit more so we still have them around?

Is love not the most compelling proof that humans are intrinsically selfish?

If you love somebody, set them free... That's how the song goes isn't it? It's good advice but we very rarely think that way do we?

On Iplayer I'm watching a program about transplants - only 3 of the 1500 suitable deaths per day are exploited for their bits -  It doesn't really contradict my thoughts above, but at least there are some special people out there. Is one in five hundred a good enough ratio for anything?

Purity of Essence?

Just received my first batch of EPO.

It's different stuff to the Aranesp I used before, this is called Noerecorman or something. so, it's back to needles and injections and stuff for the foreseeable future...

At least this stuff doesn't sting - the Aranesp was a bastard.

EPO? POE? OPE?

Weather my nature...

Weather and climate are different... Any sailor knows that.
I'm sat on the beach, there's a bit of a breeze but it's a grand day for october.

If i look to my left the skies are clear...










If i look to my right it looks quite brooding...










Of the two I know what's been and what's coming... The sun is out though and despite the wind I feel warm, certainly warmer than i expected to feel right about now.

Now, I know today, this warmth and light is weather - good weather. I'm determined to enjoy every last moment of it. The trouble is all the forecasts predict that things are going to get crap very soon, that is the climate for you!

When it does, do I turn my back on it and look left and imagine there are still the clear skies of today or do I look right, straight at the storm clouds and just deal with them?

Can you outrun a storm?

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My sub-conscious and I are back on speaking terms

#OpReclaimMyTunes is a go!

It is GREAT to be back home, back at work etc. etc.

The weather is still gorgeous, colleagues are great. I really feel comfortable at the moment :-)
Decided this morning I'm going to ditch the counsellor and treat myself with the £40 I save every week. I'm not especially into retail therapy but I think I'll get more benefit out of treats than the talking.

It's quite a lot of money to be told I'm doing very well and I should pat myself on the back etc.

• I don't feel like I need anybody else to reiterate what I already know.
• I don't need validation.
• The two weeks of it helped greatly but the holiday and others helped much much more, 
• I'm definitely on the mend... and all I really need is time, going every week is not really going to speed that up?
• If I get stuck on something I can always go back.

 

I'm just off for my coronation chicken sandwich :-)

 

Caligula would have blushed...

It's another Smiths lyric...

Been listening to their singles cd as a follow up to hearing William last night...

Been listening to it whilst getting my ass firmly in gear :-)

I have been shopping and everything...
Sofa covers and chair covers washed,  floor scrubbed clean and emails up to date (except for one)  I'm feeling very much aliver today :-)

Think this is possibly the most at peace I've been at home alone for ages.

Yummy pork pie just waiting for me to feel peckish...

I can almost hear it calling  - Moz wouldn't be happy!

Note to anyone thinking of having some pie...

How can you stay with the fat girl who'll say...

Driving back to East Anglia tonight and listening to Steve Lamacq...

He played William, it was really nothing by the Smiths, apparently Red Rhino are releasing all 8 Smiths cds remastered by Jonny Marr...

I don't think I'll be buying it...  but I remember when it was released as a single in 84 or 85 (more likely) it was the follow up to 'Heaven knows I'm miserable now...' and both releases manged to coincide with hospital appts I think. I certainly remember mum treating me to the one of those after a particularly crap visit to the South Hants - it might have even been when they put me in on the crap low protein diet? I remember going into Woolworths with her and and coming out with that little bit of vinyl encased in some arty smiths sleeve - it was probably a still from a British 60's film. Viv what's her name was on the back of 'Heaven' but that was more to do with her looking like one of the protagonists featured in the b side of that, which was 'Suffer the little children'.

The cover of 'William' was a bloke on a bed with his head in his hands, the pic had a greenish tint I think.
- Just checked and it was a still from a film called the 'leather boys' I can guess what sort of film it was now... What did my 14 year old brain think of that? I can't remember!

Anyway, I remember really liking the B side too... "Please please please, let me get what I want' and not feeling all that shortchanged by the total running time of the single, which was just about 4 minutes!

Anyway it's time for bed